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Europe’s most liberal and chilled out city is a weekend destination loved by millions and disapproved of by wrong headed moralists the world over.

“I can’t relax here,” a colleague once told me.

“Really?”

“It’s too strange.”

“Too strange?”

“Yes. All these prostitutes and other, … stuff.”

“Oh, stuff.”

It’s fair to say that the colleague with whom I worked in Amsterdam had a problem relaxing. He was wound too tight for The Dam. He could have used some … stuff.

He was also a victim of the off beam sensationalism peddled in some of the mainstream media that would have you believe that Amsterdam is nothing short of Sodom and Gomorrah. Relax.

Civilisation is indeed disintegrating throughout the city. On the other hand we find the sight of grannies and children drinking hot chocolate alongside a clutch of marijuana plants endearing. Reefer madness indeed. The red light district’s windows are threatening and degrading to some, but to others a sensible management of a trade that’s always been with us and always will be. One person’s harlot is another person’s social worker. And before we get too judgemental it is worth remembering that the women involved have more control over their lives than when organised crime is left with a free reign on the sex trade. Relax.

OK, so there will be parts of Amsterdam where you maybe wouldn’t take the kids, but why take the kids to Amsterdam at all? The Red Light District, so called, is portrayed as a den of iniquity but is all pretty harmless stuff. If it offends, or is likely to, well hell, don’t go there! If you do there is fine people watching to be done from the Bulldog coffee shop on Oudezijds Voorburgwal where groups of men can be observed walking round a loop of window lined streets with their hands firmly in their pockets. If the red light proves anything it is that there is something for every taste and size is no barrier to a good time. Relax.

But there is also an effortlessness about the serious business of making money here too. Amsterdam is a place of immense wealth, where money earned over five centuries rub against the extreme earnings of the diamond trade. That wealth lines the banks of the fours canals that ring the centre of the city: Singel, Herengracht, Keisersgracht and Prinsengracht. Strolling round those canals In Jordaan and The Nine Streets is fine relaxation with or without chemical assistance. One thing to bear in mind, however, bikes are king in Amsterdam - they have right of way over vehicles AND pedestrians in their cycle lanes (otherwise know as death traps). Many don’t have brakes, so keep your wits about you and your eyes open.

Jordaan is the north eastern area of central Amsterdam, strictly speaking to the east of Prinsengracht. The Nine Streets, more often than not referred to as part of Jordaan but less residential, run across the four canals to the west. They provide some fine B&Bs set in canal houses, plenty of eating places - try Prego in Herenstraat if you want an easy paced evening and don’t mind easy paced service, a range of watering holes - on a sunny day sit in the square just at Singel and Torensteeg, and a range of small shops offering, well, nice things. Not exactly high fashion here, but some good interiors stores with stuff outside the high street template. If you are looking for clothing you can do worse than wander across to Magna Plaza at Raadhuistraat and Nieuwezijds Voorburgwal.

The gem of the Nine Streets is Puccini Bomboni (17 Staalstraat and 184 Singel). Puccini really is one of the world’s great chocolate shops. The chocolates are handmade on the premises, so be prepared to pay, but if you like your chocolate (and who with a soul doesn’t) this is certainly one to try before you die.

Once a poor and desperately over-populated area, Jordaan, now one of the more desirable and just about affordable central residences, is the high-density home to some 20,000 people - a mere 25% of its population peak. A walk around the parallel streets illustrates how the Dutch became the masters of living in small spaces.

Just to prove the point, two Jordaan museums celebrate different aspects of this national trait. The Houseboat Museum floats on the west bank Prinsengracht while on east the more sombre Anne Frank House sports a permanent queue even in the depths of winter. If you don’t know the Anne Frank story then a) I’m not about to tell you and b) you need to get in that queue.

Somehow, I’ve not felt the need, though the draw of a favourite watering hole in a former outbuilding of the magnificent Westerkerk could be a reason. Werck was in its time, one of Amsterdam’s finest. While it is still decent it is a reminder of how hazardous the business of recommending bars can be, particularly in this city where ownership of the cutting edge establishments seems to be distressingly short term. I’ve frequently found former haunts or recently favourably reviewed establishments gone.

The disclaimer made, just up the canal Café Van Puffelen is made of more enduring stuff. One of the largest of the city’s ‘brown bars’ it serves decent value pub food and a fine range of beers. Beer being one of the many things the Dutch take seriously. Alongside Van Puffelen is the beautifully styled, undoubtedly expensive, but also just plain excellent Envy. Envy is one aof the new breed of Amsterdam eating places - smart, sophisticated and creative on the one hand or, if you don’t know your gastronomic arse from your culinary elbow, arrogant, pretentious and poor value. Make your own mind up. Devotees also rate Vyne - the sister establishment a few blocks down - which functions as a wine bar/deli.

It is quite possible to spend the entire day on Prisengracht, if neither houseboats nor Nazi persecution does it for you can always try the Tulip Museum (just opposite Anne Frank). Si it’s an Amsterdam cliché and in fact little more than a shop, but the bulbs have proved to be good and admission is free for 20 minutes of mild amusement and helpful service. Walking north from the Tulip museum brings you to Noordermarkt, very much the centre of Jordaan and the site of one of Amsterdam’s excellent street markets. The market, providing everything you might expect and a bit more without half the semi-criminal tat that pervades the UK’s street markets, covers Noordermarkt itself and runs some way down Westerstraat from morning till sometime in the middle of the afternoon on Saturday.

If the market or a stop at Paradox in Bloemdwarsstraat has worked up an appetite. Or even if it is just cake o’clock, no visit to Noordermarkt would be complete without Dutch Apple Pie at Winkel. Always busy, never with sufficient space but with seemingly inexhaustible supplies of cake, Winkel is authentic, brilliant and well worth the wait if there is a queue. Cake and coffee, cake and beer - it hardly matters.

Good Advice in Jordaan

• Don’t hurry.
• Carry a map and work out which way is North.
• Mind the bikes.
• Bear in mind that a stop at Grey Area, the coffee shop opposite, could make a stop at Puccini either very interesting or very expensive.
• Nothing in this piece is intended to encourage the consumption of drugs. At least not other than those legal drugs that generate tax revenues for governments and cause countless thousands of deaths and untold human misery.
• Relax.