“It’s coming up to September, why not write about school lunch boxes”, she said.

“Not bad”, I thought – at first.

A few days later it dawned on me that I really had no idea about school lunch boxes, for two reasons. One, in the ancient of days when I went to school myself there were no lunch boxes. You either stayed for dinners or went home. But at secondary school choice exploded; you stayed for dinner, went home, used your dinner money to buy pineapple ring and chips, or spent it on five Woodbines and went hungry. Then there is the uncomfortable fact that I studiously avoid getting involved the sordid business of school lunches with my own children. It’s a nightmare and a minefield – worse, it’s a nightmare in a minefield.

Oh stop being so diplomatic. School dinners are vile. They always were and they always will be. Back before the dawn of time they did include things that were recognisably once vegetables, but soggy, stodgy slop served up by obese dragons with bottoms the size of Belgium had long since lost any notion of nutritional value let alone flavour. These days I can’t speak for the physique of the people behind the counter but I still wouldn’t want to eat it and I doubt I’d feel any different if I was at school. Children aren’t stupid – they vote with their feet.  Lunchboxes are here to stay.

Trouble is the content of lunch boxes can be just as bad if not worse. Wotsits, I’m assured by my legal adviser, do qualify as a food product, though they look like something that came out of the Chernobyl accident. Cheese strings and blue pop look like industrial waste from Middlesbrough. The parental excuse goes something like, “I know it’s bad, but little so-and-so is really picky”.

Then there’s the Lunch Box Police to contend with. Yes, some schools actually ‘inspect’ lunch boxes. That patronising Jamie Oliver again, I assumed.  But no – it turns out that the target of this uncalled for intrusion of the State into our day-to-day lives is not, unfortunately, the banning of the evils Wotsits and blue pop, but the tracking down of banned items such as nuts, anything the may contain nuts, anything that once shared a bus with a nut and even chocolate.

But the problem remained, how could I write about what to put in a lunch box? Then it hit me. Find a ten year old foodie and ask them.

Easier than you might think. It’s fair to say that a child who thinks nothing of taking a flask of Jerusalem Artichoke Voluté to school is not exactly typical and a child who asks on arrival at a restaurant “does it have any stars” could be thought of as a little odd. But here’s the thing, children follow other children. When one has something, the others want it. So here are five ‘foodie child’ lunchbox tips that could just start a trend at school at your kid’s school:

My Flask is Hot

“I thought flasks were just for hot drinks, but mum started filling mine with hot food – like beans and sausages, pasta and homemade soups. Now other children are bringing flasks with hot food for the winter.” 

Wraps Are Cool

“Sandwiches every day are boring, but wraps are cool. I get them filled with different things – chicken, ham, cheese, salad. The best is when there’s some duck left over”.

Samosas and Bhajis are Wicked

“A lot of children at our school eat Samosas. Some children say they are spicy, but they are not really. They can have vegetables, chicken or meat. Mum goes to Morrisons to get packets of little samosas and bhajis. They are good because they are nice snacks and not too big.

Nachos Are Better Than Crisps

“Mum say nachos are better than crisps because they have less fat, but I like them because they are crunchy and I can take nice dips in my lunchbox to go with them.”

Salad’s Good When it’s Pasta or Fruit

“I like pasta cold as well as hot mixed up with tuna, cheese or tomatoes. I like fruit chopped up in a box for afters. Yummy.”