Between the five Labour leadership candidates the only experience of the private sector is a little scribbling and a few TV appearances. Oxbridge attendance, as ever, seems compulsory.

From the language of spin to plain old English, “personal tragedy” roughly translates as “what a pity he got found out” while “good and honourable man” translates literally to “thanks for falling on your sword and getting us all off the hook mate”.

There is nothing more dull than vanilla, chocolate and strawbery and what’s more there is no excuse.

Four Lions – utterly brilliant. The Great Chris Morris’ best work since The Day Today Episodes “Cake” and “Paedophilia”.

Labour did better that I had expected and didn’t collapse entirely in its marginals thanks to some decent campaigning MPs.

A hung parliament may be less likely than people think and a coalition maybe even less likely. But we might as well speculate on what’s really probable or improbable were it to happen.

What self respecting 17 year-old would allow his mother to make such a show of him?

Of all the elections I can remember this one is most like 1983 – but not because it’s a foregone conclusion, it isn’t.

Liberal leaders have ranged from substantial but harmless to superficial and potentially lethal. However they are all, to a greater or lesser extent, irritating

Warning: At least one of these people claims to watch “Britain’s Got Talent”